Italian Alps 2014 - Day 4&5

Tuesday began with an early rise, as we had all fallen asleep fairly early to Despicable Me 2. Smashing down some Nesquik cereal, appealing to the inner child in me, because I want sugary treats in the morning, not whole grain boringness, we packed and headed to the Lower Sermenza. The levels looked low to medium, yet as we scouted the gorge just up from the get out, there were still some tasty looking features in there, which gave me the heebee geebees. We got to the top, were changed double quick and headed on down.

The intro paddle was really pleasant grade 3, that gave a good warm up before a 3m drop. This ran really nicely, although looked scary enough to test my bladder strength at the top pool. Having styled the line, my nerves were still on edge, yet the run down to the gorge was quality. But now we were faced with a solid entry rapid into the gorge that I was trés nervous about, I'm fairly sure I could have pressed coal into diamond just using my sphincter ani externus. Though much deliberation, I pulled on my big boy pants, and decided to give it a crack, with Stu and me running it as the first pair (Jonny and Max being safety cover), I said I would like to hit it up ahead of him. That way I would be able to crap my pants alone, without having to watch Stu get a beating first, as I follow uselessly behind. However we both hit the line and celebrated with shouts of pure relief. The gorge provided a couple more features, one of which held me for a good 10 seconds, but luckily my cool was kept as I gave the other three a bit of a heart attack (so they tell me). Having finished the section, and been pleased with such a sweet river, I had the privilege of the run up to the car. This time no one stopped for me, feeling miserable about a mile in - nearly giving into the pain and walking, I got to the top of the 2 mile run, panting as though my lungs were going to fall out and in desperate need of water. However I'm sure Paula Radcliff would have been just as bad, stopping for copious amounts of piss stops, and Mo Farah would have just mo-botted all over the shop. For the rest of the afternoon, we checked out the Egua, the river we intend for tomorrow, and it looked steep as hell (80m drop per kilometre). An evening spent lying on the sofas, looking as though we had all been part of an energetic orgy (absolutely tired and unable to move, yet with huge smiles on our faces), we watching the rest of Despicable Me 2 and got another early night.

I was first up on Wednesday, so thought I would look after Tyrone. Having cleaned away his poop, fed him, I was preparing myself for one of the games he has to offer. However he was refusing. This made me angry, so I gave him a time out. This pissed him off, but still he didn't want to play. The following minute or so was spent with time outs and anger from both parties. I eventually gave up on him, with no happiness left on his part, and frustration on mine. Clearly I am not one for the caring way of life, but I think a little bit of it is that Tyrone is a whiny chump.

We headed to the Egua and were met by an overcast sky and a medium/low level. Deciding to have an early lunch, as we thought that the 2km section should take us about 4 hours. Jumping in our boats, we met the 8% gradient, and boy could you feel the steepness. We split into pairs, so two could run the section as the other two provide a bit of safety cover. The whole run was steep, like seriously steep. It provided some of the nicest boulder slides and drops that have ever seen the run was intimidating yet amazing fun throughout. It's hard to give a good description. so here are some photos of me cacking myself:

Lovly behind shot

One of the many drops

I'm bricking it here

Thanks to Max Emery of Procrastinate Boaters for the photos.

The rest of the evening was spent dead to the world, lying on the sofas
Oh yeah, and Jonny swam. Haha