French Alps 2014

Once again it’s another year in the French Alps, kayaking with a few of the Procrastinate team and camping alongside the Cardiff Uni Kayakers. It was a relatively tame year this year, but a few things of note happened. Instead of giving a long winded, blow by blow account of the fortnight, I have decided to provide some details of the highlights:

Hitching

As this year we were a group of three in a single car, we decided to take out a bike to perform the shuttles. However on the first day Duncan managed to snap the chain during a ride around the campsite. To look at Duncan, one would not think his slight frame would be capable of laying down that sort of torque; however he has the might of ten Lance Armstrongs.

Yep, I see it

This now meant we were stuck without the bike on Sunday (as nowhere open had the right chain). So after we had run the river, I once again (much like in Italy) stuck up my thumb. This time however I felt more confident, being able to get by with my French. A guy pulls over and says where to. Crap! Even though I could hold a conversation, I had no clue the name of the village. However he took me anyway, and this was my lesson learnt. Always remember the get on name.

On another day, we got to the bottom of a river, I jumped on the bike and started off. I was only wearing my shorts, shoes and kayaking helmet; so didn’t look like your typical cyclist. This must had been obvious, as about 3 km into the cycle a car pulled up next to me and asked if I wanted to jump in. Having become, over the last couple kayaking holidays, more willing to jump into random strangers cars, I lept at the chance to get the cycle over and done with. So we try and get the bike in the back of his Discovery, which was already slightly full. The eagerness of this guy (called Franc) was quite disturbing now I think about it. Like, he really wanted me in that car, which at the time seemed friendly, but now only seems rapey! But he gave me a lift and pleasant conversation where he was eager to know about what I was doing and where I was from.

The Nature Poo

I do like using the toilet, I find being alone comforting whilst perched on a toilet and somewhat relaxing as well. Many an idea has sprung to mind during the few minutes of egestion sat alone, and this only one of the many benefits I find a toilet break can provide. However we were at the get on for the Upper Guil, and I was in need of a number 2, in the rather large layby/car park in which the run starts. There were also 2 other university groups at the get on when we rolled up. I was in dire need of voiding my bowels at this stage; with holding it in not being a viable option, I went in search of a prime spot, yet the distinct lack of tree cover made discrete defecation a problem. I minced around for a bit, until the pressure build up was too great, I skipped behind a decidedly unhealthy looking tree (more spindly twigs than greenery) and let the floodgates open. Due to the squatted position I was in (at least this is what I attribute the following to), the stool shot out of me in a similar fashion to a viper attacking a mouse. It was over faster than I could think, and a quick wipe saw me back to the boys without being seen by the two other large university groups in the layby. I had achieved an unseen nature poo, much like a stealthy ninja who had had a dodgy curry, and was proud of my achievement!

Fresque

Toward the end of our trip we headed over to the Ubaye valley. There is a river here that has been on my To-Do list for a while and it is the Fresquire section of the Ubaye river. This is a class 4+ blast, and we had a group of 5 that were going to jump on. Having heard of people who had epics on the river, I was more nervous than Bindi Nicholls' sleepover guests.

Fresque's second (and more difficult) section

We jumped on, and I took the lead. It was about a kilometre lead in to the first difficult rapid, and at the top I took a deep breath, checked the team were behind me and headed on down. The run was amazing, and kept me on form for what felt like ages. Breaking out near the bottom (having seen one chap behind me break out) I was able to catch my breath. We had attacked the first part of the run. Now taking a back seat, I was more able to enjoy the rapids as I followed on. Then we got to the next crux section. About a 1 to 1.5 km stretch. Taking a breather at the top, I said I would lead the first section and then let Ant Morgan take over on the next part (and the only one we hadn’t actually been able to see!!!). It was exciting at the front, quick reactions were required, but being able to get a positive stroke and getting on line was the recipe for success.

In the meat of it

We neared the bottom and I broke out of the flow. Now Ant had taken over, managed to pick a line and we followed on down. Not really knowing what sections were coming up, we jumped out for a minute and the heavens opened with thunder to match. This reduced visibility, but in reality the thunder added a sense of dread to a run that really didn’t need any more dramatising . We jumped back in the boats and after about another km or two we were at the get out. Smiles all around, we had made it. A run that I will hopefully get on many more times.

Tinder
One of the lads in the Uni group managed to burn his hand and therefore halt his kayaking for the trip. On one of the rest days, Stu, Duncan and I took him to Embrun and we went to McDonalds. About 10 minutes there, and Ed was on Tinder. What a quality game (albeit a serious dating app [ha]), and we spent ages judging French women and chuckling at the thought of Ed turning the two week kayaking holiday into a series of hot dates. Having gone through the ladies within a 30km radius, and not had our fill, we set it to 100km. The ability to make a snap decision is an amazing delight, and most of the time the four of us were in sync:

Franklin would

All in all a cracking holiday with the Procrastinate and Not-So-Substantial bunch!