North Wales: a weekend of drink, high cards and things that are bad

Once again it is Blogging time. This weekend saw Cardiff Uni Kayakers annual trip to North Wales, and by Jove was it a good'un. There are other blogs on this weekend, from CUK's treasurer Rowan Phillips as well as Procrastinate's Fran Smith. Each has its own tale of the weekend, and now it is time for Stuff The Consequences' Rob Haley to spin some beautiful words about the event, at least what can be remembered.

Friday saw the start of it all. Lucie P, well know by her nickname "The Puddler", had previously offered to give Myself, Stu "Baby Swan" Sheath and Jonny "Faff Central" King a lift in her car. The idea was to meet at Team House (which is where Stu lives) and then pack boats and kit into/onto the car. However Jonny had once again managed to get this wrong, and both Stu and I were back from work and ready before he had any chance for his brain to engage to the situation. Unfortunately simple acts that you and I take for granted (such as moving and breathing) engage too much of Jonny's brain rendering him useless for any situation that requires thought processing.

The Loaded Car

Anyway, we eventually got onto the A470, although there was a little bit of traffic now as Jonny's time had made us late.

To justify some of the actions that may or may not be explained in this blog post, I have to ensure that those reading this know I had not had an alcoholic beverage for at least two months prior to this trip, and Jonny, Stu and I were planning on drinking on our way up. Stu had prepared for this by purchasing a litre bottle of Southern Comfort. I need to state that Jonny also contributed, but as it was Tesco Value lemonade, you can clearly see that it wasn't much of a contribution. We eventually hit Brecon, and this was the time of the journey we agreed drinking was acceptable, so we started.

Somehow the Southern Comfort and Lemonade went down very quickly, and a stop was needed, both for voiding bladders and more alcohol to be obtained. I am not one for mixing my drinks, as that sort of thing leads to a case of the crazies, such as Britney Spears, so I went and bought another 75cl of Southern Comfort from a Spar. This also seemed to go down quickly, and led to some adverse affects. Now I do remember that we for some reason got topless, but apparently there was more. However, if you can't remember it didn't happen; that's what I say. What I do remember is that we were singing better than any X-Factor contestant could dream, and that our flexing muscles were distracting Lucie beyond belief, as you may be able to see below.

Pure Manliness

I don't remember taking this photo, but I can only assume it was very distracting for the driver, and I apologise for it. So clearly I can't really tell you much more about the journey, as I just don't remember. However I do remember getting to the Bunkhouse and seeing Fran Smith's and Simon Hutt's cars parked up. So we ran in, still topless, as getting dressed to go inside does seem senseless. Like, the more I think of it, the more sensible it seems. The only reason to get dressed is to go outside. Therefore if you happen to be slightly undressed, then re-dressing to go inside would be crazy.

On entering the Bunkhouse, something told me to flex, which I can only imagine was embarrassing to watch. The club turned up very soon after us, and people started drinking. At least I imagine they did, because the nights events sounded as though they went fairly wild. Bits of Friday evening have come back to me, and waking up on the Saturday (feeling worse for wear, but I will come to this) I thought that I hadn't made too much of a fool of myself. These are the bits I remember:

• There was a game of "I have never", but I don't remember starting it, and all I can recall was telling people about an episode of Fran Smith's life. It won't be re-told here, as things have to stay in a bunkhouse, but if you know him, you can image some of the things that may have been said.

And that's it, that's all I remember. I thought I had stopped drinking, but apparently the Gin and Juice that I had purchased for the Saturday evening was consumed Friday also. Gin and Juice you ask, well apparently Usain Bolt is the best person to talk to about these things, or Snoop Dogg. And the best thing about Gin and Juice is that it is 50% juice, so it cannot be bad for you! The other blogs mentioned at the start add to this, but nothing has really been revealed. One can assume 1 of 2 things, either the events that transpired were not worth blogging about, or that they were too wild to publish on the internet. I would hope the former, but suspect the latter.

So Saturday morning arrived, and I was feeling bad. I had no energy to get out of bed, and the taste in my mouth was something else. It was as though I had allowed a piece of bread to go moldy overnight, whilst it sat on my tounge! I got downstairs to a few bright eyed faces, and this didn't help. Isn't it crappy seeing other people feeling great when you're not. Some details of the previous evening were regaled to me, one of which was that a game that was invented by myself and James Grant, of I'm Not Injured fame, was played. This game is know as "High Card Something Bad", and was essentially designed to get people doing silly things. On hearing this, I was annoyed that I missed out, as I had gone to bed early. But apparently this wasn't the case, it just happened that it did not form part of my memories. Unfortunately, as in "I have never", the events in "High Card Something Bad" cannot be broadcast, but from what I was told there were some dirty things going down.

So the boating! We went to look at the Conwy, and it was low. Or high, i'm not sure, I was told different things. But we didn't get on, and went to run the Llugwy. I was not feeling good on the drive to the Conwy, but as it was short it was OK. The Llugwy drive nearly took its toll, but I managed to keep my food (or whatever was actually in my stomach) down. I was impressed as I hadn't thrown up till this point. Well at least I didn't think I had, but again I will come to that.

I was grouped with Will Bevan again. The caped crusaders were once again to take a group of scared freshers down some gnarly runs.

Will Bevan

Will pointed out that I always take photo's of him changing. Looking back through them, he is correct. Seems weird that he remembers things like that! Alongside this photo, I was doing some modelling shots of Stu and Rowan with my sexy DSLR:

 Naomi Campbell - eat your heart out

Fran's creepy eyes

I like this photo above, it seems really off putting. 

So Will and I got our group. Luckily it looked as though the group was fairly strong. This was a severe benefit, as I was not up for saving anybody.

The Group 

Blake running a drop

The river was good, and the lads seriously improved. So we went to go look at an intermediate river. This journey was a lot longer in the car. I was feeling poorly to say the least, and to mitigate against any problems I reached for a Cardiff recycling bag, so that if my stomach did decide to emit its contents, I would have something to catch the fallout with. However, when I saw the bag in front of me, my brain clearly thought this was acceptance of the inevitable egestion through my mouth. I was trying badly to ask Lucie to pull over, by every fiber in my body knew that if I tried to talk I would vomit. I took my time, and eventually managed to get the words out, "Can we pull over?". Stu looked at me and could tell this wasn't good. Then the bag came in useful. For some reason I brought it to my face, and coughed. Puke was all over my mouth and chin. RANK. I didn't want or expect this. However I pulled the bag away and managed to keep everything from the car. Lucie pulled over, and I got out. Stu, smiling a big grin, got out my camera and proceeded to record me in my time of peril:

Not my greatest moment

Anyways, the river we went to look at was too low, and this meant the drive, and therefore the vomiting, was unnecessary.

So we went back to the Conwy, and on this drive I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, which definitely helped. I had sort of forgotten how good the Conwy was, and had a cracking time, both Ben and Blake in mine and Will's group rocked it. There was one moment where Blake swam and had the boat pinned in the middle of the river, so I had to stand in the water for a while. But I do enjoy that sort of thing, even though it was cold as! Everybody seemed to have a good laugh, and was probably the hardest thing some of them had done, so that's cool.

Then it was to the pub for a quick sit in the warmth before heading back to the bunkhouse for a snooze. Duncan had not stayed with us the previous evening, and drove up Saturday morning. So him and Fran joined me in the area I slept. As Duncan was getting ready for his little nap, he pointed to something on the floor.

"What's that?

"Paint?"

I had a cheeky peek, and my heart sank a little. "So that's why my mouth tasted of sick this morning!"

This explains a bit. Apparently I was ill the night before, and somehow was clever enough to move position, and therefore did not realise till Duncan saw it. So my nap was postponed whilst I cleared up my own mess. Yer, that's right. I had to wipe up my stinking vomit, which had had the fortune of fermenting on the floor for the whole day and had become dry and paste-like. I'm sure if my mother reads this she will be thinking that I very much deserve it. Luckily I am faster than Kim Woodburn and Aggie MacKenzie when it comes to clearing shit up, so it wasn't long till I was in a nice little dreamworld.

When dinner was ready, we reluctantly walked to the kitchen. The reluctancy was due to the cold, not the thought of club food, and seeing as the food was proper nice, it was worth it. I had a beer, but this wasn't sitting very well, so couldn't cope much more. Probably for the best that the Gin and Juice was long gone. This evening seemed tamer than the previous, although there was a relatively savage game of spoons. I went to bed before people started getting rowdy, and apparently there was another game of High Card Something Bad.

Sunday saw the River Dee, which is fairly standard, and probably the reason why it was so packed with kayakers. Our car, as well as the other Safeties stopped for a morning bacon bap at a place called The Tollgate, which was run by an elderly couple, and was wicked. I had a killer Bacon and Sausage Bap that really hit the spot. This was a cracking idea, and reminded me that stopping before a river for breakfast is a seriously good plan.

The Tollgate

The temperature was as cold as the hairs on a polar bear's bum. My BA was frozen, and thermals were cold as ice. This was not helping moral, and people were not looking happy. Which, to be fair, made me slightly happier. Odd feet warming rituals were going on:

Not just making his shoes hot, but the ladies were following suit

 However it looks like it worked

So we did some sliding down the hill, and due to the frost on the ground, there was some serious speed to be had.

Will on the sliding decent

As far as the river goes, the boating was good and people seemed to be hitting lines and having a good day once warmed up. Jonny King however was being as much of a muppet as expected, and managed to be leading his group down Town Falls, lost his paddle whilst upside down and had to handroll up. This left him at the bottom and his group at the top. For this he did a bootie:

Just a Chump

There's not much more to say really, it was a good weekend, and re-instilled why I have given up alcohol. Maybe I should be more embarrassed than I feel, but it seems that I was just as hilarious as I expect myself to be.

Till next time y'all, which should hopefully be about a River Dart trip that I am going on with the Procrastinate Boaters.

River Usk

So finally, something else to post about. It has been a long time since I have been in a river kayak, polo once again has been taking over. However Cardiff Uni Kayakers (CUK) has saved the day by running the beloved Usk. Now this isn't a difficult river, but for the freshers of the club it gives a good little ride.

So Sunday morning I picked up Procrastinate's Stu Sheath and Duncan Sinclair, as well as CUK committee Gimp, George Williams, with some banging beats being blasted out. Testosterone levels were running high, as both Stu and I had been shooting the day before. (I mean the manly kind of shooting with guns as opposed to the dirty gyppos that you see shooting up) So we were on a manly high, and to fuel our manliness we went for breakfast. I enjoyed this start to the day, a relaxing breakfast should be eaten before every club trip!

We got to the Usk at around 11:15 and managed to get the van un-packed in a reasonable time. Once again I was placed with the mighty Will Bevan of CUK, and we are swiftly becoming a dynamic duo of power. You may be thinking Batman and Robin? NO, neither of us are Robin. He is a chump that can't take the heat. We're basically Batman and Batman, you can see a photo of the two of us standing next to each other below:

Will and I

OK, so I'm not actually saying that we are both Batman, Although if we were, then I would be the one on the left!!

Down to our group, we had an quality bunch this weekend:

The group

Jumping onto the water, we had no troubles, the girls were rocking it, and Jordan was holding it tight for the blokes too.

So, Mill Falls being the tasty section on the Usk this is really where we're gonna get down to the nitty gritty. To be fair, Holly swam further up, but the less said about that the better. *Note to self - take that comment out to save Holly the embarrassment* *Second note to self - Actually don't* 

Mill Falls Eddy

We got out to have a cheeky gander at the section before we ran it, and you could see a couple faces drop at the idea of it, but this wasn't gonna stop us. Watching others get down to the bottom gave us the excitement to get down. Everyone nailed it, well actually we did have someone beach themselves on a rock half way down, but she managed to sort herself out and get tot he bottom. No swims!

Then it was just was simple paddle to the get off and time to get warm. Next week is the CUK North Wales trip, and this should really see some excitement and hopefully some banter to discuss. Watch this space.

Cosmeston w/ Cardiff Uni Kayakers

This Saturday just been the Cardiff Uni Kayakers annual Fresher trip to Cosmeston Lakes. It was a nice sunny day, but having to get up at 0800 still didn't seem worth it. Getting to the lakes however made everything better, as the sun was breaking through, and the heat could already be felt.

I was asked to take a group with current Polo Secretary Will Bevan (seen below), and therefore I delegated my authority down to him. That's what they told me to do whilst in Uni, so I was just was applying my learning.

Now Cosmeston is a large lake, with nice surroundings. But this has also attracted some unwanted and unsavoury characters. No I'm not talking about gypsies, albeit they are highly unwanted, I'm refering to swans. I hate swans, I don't like that they are as big as they are and people are still happy with them plodding about. And what's with them being so f**king white, just f**k off swans. If I were the queen I would have them culled, its not as though they add anything. They just crap everywhere and get in people's way. Also when I was walking my boat to the waters edge, they were hissing and making the sort of noises that would lead anyone to believe they were about to attack. I'm not proud to say it, but if sh*t did start kicking off, I would have grabbed the nearest person and sent them to the slaughter.

With the swan rant over, luckily everyone surviving this time, I'll go back to the kayaking trip. So the first group Will and I were in charge of had luckily all paddled before, and showed some tasty skills whilst on the water.

Some tasty skills on display

All the groups then got together and had some fun on the water, as well as in the water.

The first lot then got off to play some games, and our second group got on. These chaps and chapettes were not as good, however showed as much determination as could have been hoped for, so well done to them.

The second group were warming up as the first were getting off. apparently this is what warming up looks like:

I dunno why the glutes are needed to be stretched so much, but apparently these two girls had a reason to do so!!! ;-)

After the kayaking part was over, both groups got changed and had some BBQ food before a couple more games were played.

A possible reason to stretch those glutes

 People attempting to sit on each other

People succeeding at sitting on one another 

Rope game 

I was the one spinning the rope in this game, and I'm not gonna lie, I was hot and dizzy. It knocked me down for a good 5 minutes after.

 Standard student games tend to involve beer

And spinning (bottles and spinning?)

It was a sweet day, and seemed as though everyone who attended enjoyed.

The main reason for this post was to get some of my camera's photos up, as I try and use it more and more, although most of these snaps were taken by Miss Pelech. For the rest of the photos, the will hopefully be on CUK's facebook page soon.

Tawe; Back in a boat (and someone out of a boat)

It’s been a while since I have had the chance to update this blog. I have been to Cardiff White Water Centre a couple times, but not worth blogging about as it was just some playboating after I had been rafting during the day. Otherwise I have been playing polo, resenting the fact that it is taking up more time. If you wanna read about the polo side of the Stuff The Consequences be sure to check out Polo The Consequences blog.

However on Monday evening I managed to get a quick evening run on the Tawe with Procrastinate's Max Emery, Jonny King and Stu Sheath. It was an evening run because both Stu and I are working, so that students like Jonny and Max can continue to freeload through life.

The weather on Monday morning was horrible, which was promising for the water levels, but made the idea of going outside less appealing. An early decision was to attempt to run the Nant Clydach a few times so that the shorter daylight hours wouldn’t pose a problem. However the weather brightened up in the afternoon and it was clear that the Clydach wasn’t going to be on.

The choice was then left between the Mellte and Tawe; basically we knew that both of these runs could be done in time if we were on the ball. With the afternoon being mostly rain free, both runs were looking lower than originally thought. However as none of us have been in a boat for a while, the decision was made to just go have a look and jump on something.

Getting to the Mellte with Max and Jonny, the gauge was reading just below 6. This wasn’t ideal, and I was surprised as the water was as brown as fluids ejected in the art of Klismaphilia, but this must have just been because of the earlier rise in levels washing the banks. Stu turned up just after 17:00, and with sunset due for 18:53, the idea of walking out of the Mellte in the dark seemed unpleasing should it come to that, so we headed over to the Tawe. We knew there would be water, that we could have a little play and be off the water before it was too dark.

The gauge at the get on we use read around 0.45, which was higher than we last run it, but then that was scrapey low. We ran the shuttle and got ready to get on. Jonny, being the amazingly intellectual guy he is, didn’t bring a dry-cag with him. Obviously the cold evening wasn’t enough of a deterrent to get some warm clothing. He did contact Max 10 minutes before we were set to leave saying he was cag-less and there was one somewhere in Max’s garage, but no more detail than that. However, being the amazing handy chap I am, I had a spare that I lent him. Obviously his scrawny body was far too feeble to fill my cag, with the neck seal being as tight as a collapsed Squish Mitten, but at least it would provide some wind resistance.

The level was OK, and running down to the drop it was nice to have a play and be back in a boat. We had a few runs of the drop, as it was the most fun part of the river, and worked on our technique. On my first go, I came up to the lip at about 30 degrees, and my mind stopped. I didn't have a clue which side to boof stroke on, I was more muddled than a dyslexic staring at a Scrabble board, and I just penciled over. Luckily after that attempt, my mind got back into gear and I got the stroke on the others.

Max was keen for a Hammer over the edge, and decided to give it a go. Unfortunately he messed it up and pencilled the drop, ended up caught under the drop and swam. Luckily we saw two Swansea based paddlers there, and one of them was in the pool at the time and managed to get his boat to Max and pull him out. This was good, as both Jonny and I were at the top of the drop unable to do much. Max’s paddle exited before he did, and Stu managed to pull his boat out after. It was a noble attempt, crap but noble, and to be fair to him he had balls to give it a bash and commit to it. I was gonna give it a go, but getting to the lip, I froze and didn’t manage to get a stroke in, so also pencilled the drop. Luckily I managed to stay out of the towback, and there were no more swims recorded. A couple more runs and it was getting dark, so we continued on to the end. It was sweet to get back onto a river after so long, and hopefully with the winter months coming, more boating and blogging is to be had.

Have put a little edit together of us messing around on the drop, hope you enjoy. Unfortunately my GoPro fogged up as I didn’t have any Anti-Fog inserts

    

Life of Mole

So I have finally put the videos of my French Alps swim together. This is when I was running the Tunnel down section of the Middle Guil. I haven't swam for so long that I forgot how tiring is was, and watching the footage over again reminded me of how tired I was, just looking at little bits where I can't do simple things shows this.

The reason for the video coming now is that I am aware that I haven't blogged for a while, and thought I needed some more hits. Now that Polo The Consequences (PTC) has kicked off and the umbrella corporation of Stuff The Consequences is growing, much faster than any other similar companies, David James Ltd. springs to mind, I thought that I should keep the momentum going.

The video comprises of my GoPro HD Hero 2 point of view as well as my Canon IXUS 230HS used by Rif. As I say, its pretty raw, but just to show what happened. The title, 'Life of Mole' was conjured up when we were sitting in the Gite watching the video over.

Hopefully over then next few weeks I should be purchasing a new entry level DSLR camera, and will be able to take more photos and videos for the blog, as well as the PTC blog that Andy Francis is leading.